The following insights and strategies are gleaned from my decades-long experience with depression; however, they can only be of value if you recognize that you are currently grappling with depression. If you are reading this, chances are you find yourself in the same emotional abyss that I once navigated. Alternatively, you may know someone who is currently in the throes of depression. Acknowledging this condition constitutes a significant step. Seeking professional help is an even more substantial stride, and realizing that this is not your fault is perhaps the most significant realization of all. Understand that not everyone is fortunate enough to possess a harmonious internal chemistry; in fact, the majority of us do not.
Read MoreLet’s talk about grief. You are not alone. Your grief is valid, and while it may be endless… as grief is… we grow around our trauma and pain, which help to shape all the things that make us uniquely us… as grief does. Grief is hard for us all, but we don’t need to suffer alone or in silence. We need to Suffer Out Loud!
Read MoreBeing on the other side of an emotionally tumultuous young adulthood, I still find so much value in sharing my story as a way to connect with my younger self. As a pre-teen, the first signs of something being wrong began to stir up at the same time my dad went to Afghanistan. He’s not a veteran, but he was in combat zones working daily in volatile conditions. You can imagine the stress that put on my mother, alone with three teenagers.
Read MoreI drank alcohol from the time I was 13 to make friends, to cope with stress and anxiety, and to bury my feelings surrounding my life. It was “never a problem” until I finally realized that it for sure had been a problem all along. A few years back when I got sober the first time, my world got turned upside down around my 10 month mark.
Read MoreI try not to put too much weight onto new year transitions. I figure, if nothing else, New Year’s Eve is a nice opportunity to spend some quality, late night time with my husband, sometimes my mama, and/or some of my best friends. If nothing else, I am guaranteed to start my new year with a kiss from my person, and a great big HAPPY NEW YEAR howl shared with the woman who raised me while we all bang on a few pots and pans in a small parade through our neighborhood streets. Then I wake up the next day and it’s a new year…. But, the same old me.
Read MoreMy reason for sharing my story publicly after so many years is because of a girl from my hometown who shared her story with me about going through an ectopic pregnancy–something I knew nothing about but would also later experience. Ectopic pregnancies can be deadly without outside help and I would have NEVER thought mine was ectopic if I hadn’t read her story. Her vulnerability and openness may have saved my life. Therefore, I am sharing my story in hopes of shining light onto someone who might currently feel there is none at the end of their tunnel.
Read MoreThere’s a contradiction at the heart of the holiday season when it comes to mental health. Despite December’s short days, the whole world feels drenched in light and alive with togetherness and cheer. There’s an emphasis on generosity that is woefully absent for the rest of the year. There’s a sense of togetherness, there’s ritual, there’s decorating, there’s gift-giving. But the fact of the matter is that the holidays often present a rupture in routine, so your mental health might need some extra attention.
Read MoreSuicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States and Montana has one of the highest suicide rates in the country due to risk factors including: vitamin D deficiency, distance from healthcare, stigma of health care (western “boot strap” mentality that if you are “tough” you will be fine,) lack of behavioral health services, living in a high elevation where there is less oxygen, higher access to lethal means, higher populations of marginalized people groups, and higher substance use (Rosston, 2021). This list is not exhaustive, as there are other indicators such as coping with loss, mental health disorders, social isolation, perfectionism, family distress, chronic illness and significant life changes.
Read MoreMany of us have encountered or will encounter a loved one who expresses that they no longer want to go on, without knowing what to say or do. Hearing such news can feel terribly helpless, overwhelming, shocking, and can induce serious anxiety. Please know that there are often things you can say and do to and for someone who has spoken of killing themself.
Read MoreThere are two truths I will not quickly forget about my Uncle:
1) He had a clever nickname for just about everyone and
2) he generously gave me one of the best gifts I have ever received: his vintage vinyls of the Beatles.
It has been one year since my family and I have lost my Uncle to suicide. Prior to 2020, January 16th was a day that would pass by each year without much thought. This year, I have it marked on my calendar as “1 year.”
Read More“How do I find a therapist? How do I know we will be a good fit? What if I don’t like them?” The many questions that fill your brain can feel paralyzing and might just stop you in your tracks from making one of the most important and rewarding decisions of your life- seeking help.
Read MoreThere’s really no instruction manual on how to feel or respond to pain… All we can do is learn from other people who are just as human as we are.
Read MoreI don’t know how much longer I can do this. I thought it would be better by now. I thought I’d already found the light at the end of the tunnel. Just kidding, only a series of other tunnels. I really want to give up. I’m not sure if I can do this. Words of a podcast I’d listened to years ago rang true: ‘I don’t want to die but I don’t want to be awake either.’
Read MoreFor all age groups, Montana has ranked in the top five for suicide rates in the nation for the past thirty years. As Montanans we don’t hear about these statistics very often. When I mention this to peers, they are usually surprised to learn that so many Montanans are taking their lives. The next question people always ask me is why are so many people dying by suicide in Montana. It’s important to know the why so that we can start addressing how to change this devastating statistic.
Read MoreMost people associate baby blues and postpartum anxiety and depression with just sobbing on the floor and hyper worrying about your baby. That happens too, but no one ever told me about Postpartum Rage.
Read MoreIt was a Tuesday, the first day after Christmas break. I was in my bedroom listening to music when the commotion of my inconsolable mother, escorted by my brother, came up the back stairs to our house. I ran to meet them, and my brother simply said, "Dad's dead.
Read MoreTwo years ago, we embraced vulnerability and launched a nonprofit organization that we knew needed to exist. We really didn’t know what to expect; all we knew was that we wanted to play a part in changing the world. We had personally dealt with suicide loss and our own battles with mental illness. We knew first hand that the stigma surrounding mental health in Montana is devastating.
Read MoreI clearly remember sitting at the funeral home making arrangements for my sister’s funeral. We had to pick the songs that we would sing, the scripture that would be read, and who the paul bearers would be. I didn’t really care about any of these things as I sat there. I just wanted my parents to make the choices that would bring them comfort
Read MoreFor many years I suffered from depression and bipolar disorder, three years ago I was diagnosed with PTSD, I was at one of the lowest points in my life and didn’t know what to do I even consider suicide as a last resort.
Read MoreFor many, it takes decades to find answers to their mental illness. What none of us should do during that journey is walk alone. It’s taken me a long time to believe those words, but I know the result will be worth the wait.
Read More